Worth and Appreciation

Ok. So note to self, I write more professionally and more organized in a word document than the blog thing. Turns into a journal entry. Shifting focus now towards the expression! Of my journey of joy. My dear friend Roger has called it the Camino for me.

For anyone tuning into my life that does not have this information, after the storm (Katrina) I adventured/ventured to complete the camino de Santiago de compostela, la via de plata. Silver route which starts in Sevilla. I did not complete the Camino, as the real lesson for me was not to finish but instead change mid stream and face the unknown. Big lesson for me at the time. It took nearly freezing outside to realize that being stubborn and unable to do something OTHER than the pre planned route already agreed upon was not worth- ha worth- dying for. I had to deal with money issues, “but I planned out my money to do the camino, oh my god what could happen if I didn’t do the camino DUN DUN DUN” but I faced it all. FACED the great unknown and Madrid ended up being this amazing cosmic vacation from reality and so proves (shows/suggests) that facing the unknown can yield some awesome results.

And so fast forward from the uncompleted Camino- to my current camino and lessons. This move and in truth it began before the move. It began last spring with some deep grief and experiencing parts of myself I never knew existed and I had happily divorced early on. This personal shift so deep and powerful that I am still working through. Anyway, this momentum that my life really started to gather and my continued frustration with New Orleans has created (through the contrast which can be so hard to live through sometimes) the most glorious incredible life giving renewing healing inspiring delightful magical wholesome fun hilarious playful engaging surprising empowering fantastic experience that has been San Francisco as I know it to be as it and I are becoming together.

I said, let’s discover each other San Francisco. I noticed that I am not hungry for the cultural niceities that show/prove I am really a resident here- but I feel so satisfied by the knowing that this is so awesome and there is so much more to discover. It makes me feel so much more relaxed about what is happening now and relaxed that there is so much more. It sort of frees me from the need for this moment to be awesome and YET that makes this moment pretty awesome. Yes Abraham it really does just get better and better.

But in alignment with my theory on topography of locals affecting its residents (New Orleans=swamp=all your deep dark issues and you are just sitting in them. As my dear friend Annick says it, “sitting in your own sh*t” Yep, that sounds and feels about right.
And so San Francisco has so many delicious amazing topography things to choose from. I certainly have experienced the highs and lows of those glorious hills, in both literal and metaphoric ways. So you may be sitting atop some glorious hill and looking out over the most glorious vista and even catching a glimpse the ocean. It is AWESOME. And then the ocean, but don’t get me started on the ocean- that would have to be a lifetime worth- ha worth- of blog entries.

As I was affirming though, my lows are higher than ever and getting easier and easier. I actually had a guy hire me and say, “see, that was easy right?” and that was such a good message from San Francisco- it only asks that you chill out. I am like, wow my life is totally amazing. I have managed to manifest funds for three months of work free experience WITH a month of travel and huge life experience, an effortless move from a city I lived in for five years and land in an incredible warehouse utopia. YES, there is a god. And I have done enough PYSCH-K balances that clearly I believe I deserve some good. But I have also challenged my self love and worth. Oh worth.

I now praise and declare with joy, I have three jobs and they seamlessly work together so that I don’t even work so hard. I truly do work I enjoy doing, I am loved and love those I work with and for and it’s all really ok. I did some wicked EFT on myself yesterday too. So yeah, I manifested 3 jobs in 2 days. Thanks to friends who held me in that radiance of well being. Amber, Annick, Aimee, oh Roger, Amanda, Amanda, the compound, Kate, and more… Thank you for being my friend and reminding me of my awesomeness when I forget. I really appreciate it.

So yes, I now experience a sense of appreciation for my actual work experience manifested so effortlessly (after lots of miracles for a month of San Francisco immersion). Oh yeah, did I tell you guys I signed up for the “Have a fantastic immersion in San Francisco” clause. I know, I am so glad. San Francisco feels like I graduated from the darkness of New Orleans and that truly my lesson for here is to allow. I will do my best to recount all the blessings/ gifts/ miracles that I have experienced while here for a little over a month.

Magical warehouse apartment filled with plants, huge tea selection that surpasses my wildest expectations, more kitchen supplies and gadgets, tools, space, bikes, dry goods, storage, commercial stove/oven!! All baking things I could have EVER asked for- woah. ICE CREAM ALL THE TIME in new and delicious flavors, food that is available for general consumption (so I can eat healthy things and not have to tear myself up over having to be the one to create it- OHHH THE CONTRAST from living by myself- I am so grateful to be where I am now, thank you thank you thank you thank you!)

Information, fun, laughter, sharing, playing, conversation!!!!!!!!!!! Oh conversation!!!
Seriously, and then the connections to others. I have already met and connected with so many people and as I was thinking about my sublet eventually being up (having had it graciously extended, thank you again) and leaving studio G and even a little bit more sad or at least a different kind of sad Studio H. OH H- I am in love with you! I have never known love like this before!